Thursday, February 27, 2003"Choo Choo La Rouge..."
Step right up, boys and girls to the Abbey Lounge, the littlest big-top in Inman Square, and bear witness to the Greatest Show on Earth!
You will be entertained and amazed as Choo Choo La Rouge, who are rockers, rock out!
Thrill to the sounds of the In Out!
Chill to the sounds of Soltero!
And who is the intriguingly mysterious Jennifer O'Connor from New York City?
All these wonders and more await you starting at 9:00 PM Saturday, so step right up!
One More (Very Important) Thing...
Kitten, I might sometimes ask you to do strange things...
No, no, nothing like that, you can lower your shirt now.
You see, I have these friends, a couple I know, the female of the half being a most beloved co-worker of mine. Her guy, whom I see and shoot the shit with every day when he comes and picks her up, is a funny motherfucker. He's 28 going on 17, as I mentioned in an e-mail to Boyfriend, and still more a man than I'll ever be. I wish I had 1/2 of his backbone. In fact he's "solid" in that way that reminds me a lot of Boyfriend. How can you not love a guy like that? They're so completely rare, believe me.
Anyway, He had some kind of scary-ass, totally random, medical-type attack last night, the origins of which are a complete mystery. 'Round 5:00 PM today they were finally off to take him to a hospital, both after working all day because their two paychecks support five people, meaning a set of parents and their little girl. See how fucked up that is? But I'm not going to get all blue-collar violin on ya', that's not what this is about.
Now, I know you owe me nothing, Kitten, so I'm certainly not in a position to ask for favors, but I'm gonna' lay some crazy hippy shit on ya', and I hope you'll play along.
If maybe for a few moments throughout your day, you could think about two incredible, generous, truly "good" people who are rolling through some shit-times with nothing short of saintly coolness, and send some very positive vibes their way, I would fucking love you forever, Kitten, I swear.
This is not to imply that I will love you any less if you are going through your own cash-flow/family/health-related hell, as we all are on some level or another, and simply cannot spare the energy, I totally understand.
I guess I'm just a crystal-gazing idiot who still believes in giving a shit on a unified scale.
posted by taiwan_on 'round 11:52 PM#
Sunday, February 23, 2003"Local Boys..."
Check out this very cool article about Boston's cutest and most talented indie boys Choo Choo La Rouge!
posted by taiwan_on 'round 2:15 AM#
Thursday, February 20, 2003"Search String Fun"
I'm everywhere you sickos wanna' be!
From the "Can I get an amen?!" file:
Ooooh, yes! I would like this too! If anyone's kooky thoughts seem utterly blogworthy, it's Crispin's. Hellooooo...McFly! Can we get a blog going or what?
From the "Please, fucking stop already!" file:
I will forever fucking rue the day I used the word suppository in this blog.
From the "Cute things made ugly by foul language" file:
www.google.com/search?=girl eating cotton candy in the motherfucking rain
Dude, why the hostility? Just look how cute you are when you're angry!
From the "Damn right it is!" file:
www.google.com/search?=is it unhealthy to wear thong underwear everyday?
Yes it is. Your crack-floss makes us all sick. Vice magazine said it best in their "Don'ts" section with this comment: "The only guys that are into thongs are guys that still think girls don’t poo. The rest of us are like, “get your fucking shit rag out of my face lady.” Why don’t you wear some used tampons as earrings while you’re at it?"
Can I get a witness?
posted by taiwan_on 'round 10:36 PM#
Monday, February 17, 2003"I'm Okay, My Vagina's Okay"
I haven't thought this much about my vulva in years...HAH HAH! yeah, okay, I'm lying!
Alright, this is more than just a little bit nuts.
Despite the fact that I had to fudge the numbers a bit because I'm, like, El Tardo when it comes to the metric system. And sure I haven't got any acrylic dildoes laying around with inch markings on the side that can give me an accurate measurement of the depth of my vaginal canal, nor can I ever imagine a situation where I may deem it necessary to measure said depth, I just did exactly what I'd do for any other test I hadn't properly studied for...
I guessed at the answers I figured were probably "right". (last question was definitely a no-brainer)
My vagina scored an 86 out of a possible 100, with this encouraging little affirmation included; "Based on the answers that you have provided, your Vulva and Vagina is of good quality."
Good quality as in "Hustler" 4 page layout good? Or good quality as in fetch me a few grand on E-Bay good?
Still though, one has to wonder about the veracity of any result brought to you by the folks at the Vagina Institute. No, kitten, I'm not kidding; the fucking Vagina Institute. Capital V, capital I. I couldn't make that shit up if you paid me.
The Vagina Institute, huh? I bet I know a few guys who'd like a membership card.
Anyway, thanks to the green fairy, where I ganked this incredibly suspicious link.
posted by taiwan_on 'round 9:45 PM#
yeah, you in that snowbank over there!
And why aren't fellow Boston bloggers (Gummi, Laughing Boy, Bitter Girl and ex-pat of the moment, Lee) all comedically a-twitter over our Level Orange Snow Emergency 2003?
C'mon you guys! Can I get some fuckin' hysteria over here? Please?
Thank goodness for "Smell the Blog", who addressed this looming crisis beautifully, and isn't even a New Englander, for chrissake!
You should all be ashamed of yourselves!
posted by taiwan_on 'round 2:09 PM#
Oh, to be a New Englander
Do I go to work today, and work my stupid, lesser, six hour, once-a-week closing shift and then call in sick for my early morning eight and a half hour day tomorrow? Or do I just say fuck it, stay home today and tomorrow, exploiting the snow emergency to its fullest?
This would be a lot easier if I knew exactly how many paid sick days, if any, I had left.
Fucking snow. Sure do wish I had gone to Best Buy at some point and stocked up on some DVDs. The thought of being snowbound with nothing new to watch takes all the fun out of things. Still though, this weather is beginning to look a little scary...
as in; possible loss of power therefore internet/television/cable/dvd player/HEAT! scary. Please, gods, not that. For once I don't have to worry about losing my dial-up connection. Let me enjoy my cable connectivity, hmmm?
posted by taiwan_on 'round 1:48 PM#
Tuesday, February 04, 2003"Word Up"
Like Cameo! Remember?
So I'm watching Letterman, and he has Kate Hudson on, who I think is just as cute as a little blonde button (despite the similarities to Yoko apparently being ground along the rumor mill.), and Dave uses the word "fetching" to describe how she's turned out for the interview.
Dammit, that's a great word. Fetching.
(Incidentally, "turned out" is another phrase I'm fond of, but thanks to the whole "pimp chic" thing, I feel a bit funny using it.)
But Fetching, what a great damn word, huh?
Reminds me of 1920's flappers. Girls with bobbed hair and adorably-shaped chins pointed as confrontationally out at the world as pretty little guns. Girls with spunk (Now, there's a word that society has recently ruined, huh?), girls with moxie, girls with crisp, clever voices.
Fetching is a girl who can make a glittering accessory out of a vice. A girl who winks at boys. A girl who's fiesty. A girl with a quick, devilish smile and an even quicker, spicy tongue.
Yeah, fetching. That's a cool word.
posted by taiwan_on 'round 12:24 AM#